“Why does everything have to be about race?”

Good afternoon Tomodachi’s,

Nothing grinds my gear more than hearing someone say “why does everything have to be about race?” If you truly believe that everything in this world does not involve race and [in many cases religion] then you are either:

  1. Completely blind to other’s plights;
  2. It does not affect you so you do not want to know or do not care to know;

  3. You are in denial.

A couple of days ago I made a comment of on a Facebook post promoting anime merchandise. I made a comment of why every clothing marketed to women had to be so skin-tight. Which if we take a close look at the clothing marketed to women they are all somewhat skin-tight and leaves little room for the imagination. I actually do not mind skin-tight clothing but to think that that is all that is marketed to women is both annoying and frustrating while the men clothing were always loose or slack and never skin-tight like the women. I went on to say that if I were to buy the pants that were being advertised then I would buy the men’s sweat pants instead.

Anyway, a white female commenter made a comment saying “Buy the men’s sweats then, homie”. To think that this complete stranger addressed me as ‘homie’ as if we knew each other or as if we were friends was amazing. It baffled me. Look at the screenshots below

My mind was just wondering why would a complete stranger call me like that? Did she call her white friends like that? Did she call other non-black strangers on the internet homie as well? It just made me think of how so many white people who try to sound and act cool by using words and slang that black people have created and have used for ages whenever they see a black person or people of colour (PoC) around; Or when they are in close proximity to one then the “ebonocs” come out. I lived with someone who would call his black Africa male friend and a Chinese Bonarian friend who grew up all his life on the Dutch Antilles as “Brother”. However, I have never seen him do the same thing around his white male friends. Every time I heard him say this to these men, who by the way, said nothing in return about it, made my ass itch. Excuse for my French.

This has happened so many times to black people and PoC that I was internally side-eyeing her through my phone screen. At first, I was not planning to say anything about it but it just irked me and rubbed me the wrong way so much so that I needed to say something and get it off my chest. I do not want to be addressed by any white person or any other race trying to act cool by using black people lingo whenever they see a black person around. Address me like you would address any other person if they were not black.

Anyway, I spoke up about it and of course, she made it seem like I was the problem and I should basically just accept her calling me like that. She claimed that she calls everyone homie, which I completely doubt. She refused to see that the way she was using it was not the correct way and then told me I was taking it too seriously and to chill. Now, originally I was not really upset when conversing with her but after she said these things it just started to irritate the hell out of me. At least if you want to use black lingo try and learn to use it in the correct way and that is exactly what I told her in one of my comments after going back and forth with her a couple of times trying to tell her not call me, a complete stranger, a homie.

And this is what she had to say:

She felt so entitled that she absolutely refused to see her error and kept calling me homie even though I tried to explain to her that I do not like complete strangers off the internet calling me that. To some people probably reading this post you might think it is not such a big deal and it is just a word but that is not the point. A lot of black lingo is used among friends and family, so they are very intimate words used only between people who are deemed close. And I clearly told her I did not like her calling me that and she refused to adhere to my feelings and kept calling me homie. She even went so far as to claim that she lived around black families and made friends with some of the kids there and no one told her for 18 years that she was using the word wrong which I do not believe for a second. Her comments just came off as some racists who claim that they are not racist because they have black friends. I was not amused

She tried to throw in some half-assed apology why still trying to get her way on why I should let a complete stranger call me homie.

Every person’s name is unique and has meaning and should, therfore, be learnt

Hello Tomodachi’s

How are you this Wednesday morning? I came across an article yesterday and thought it would be a great idea to write about it on my blog since the topic is something that I have seen happening to others quite a few times in my life.

The article spoke from the writer’s perspective about their experience on how people treated calling her by her given name and how they called it hard. It was a somewhat lengthy read but a good read and I recommend you all to read it.

While reading her article it reminded me of when I was still in high school and how my, then, classmates and I were introduced to this Chinese girl that transferred to our school and who later on becomes my very good friend. She, of course, had a Chinese name and told us her name but too many of our classmates who were not familiar or exposed to hearing a lot of Chinese names at the time, it seemed hard to learn and say. Not to mention, this Chinese girl also did not seem to like her Chinese name and wanted to have a more “western” name and wanted to only be called by that name and my classmates were too happy to oblige to call her by a more “western” and “easier” name. At the time I did not question it although it did seem a bit wrong to me and I made sure to learn her Chinese name although from then on we all referred her to her new “western name” Stephy.

Though there were more instances that I have seen this sort of thing happening but with this blog I kind of want to rectify myself for remaining silent at the time even though I felt sad for these people and knew what was being done to them was wrong. No name is hard to learn and every name has meaning behind them that the person parents’ specifically chose for them. How dare others redicule it. And why are western names the only accepted names anyway? We should show our respect and consideration to others by properly learning their name, yes, even those “weird-sounding” names. Just because it may be a “foreign-sounding” name does not make it a “hard” name and that it cannot be learnt. It just means the name is different and not something you hear every day. What truly matters is if you try to learn the name instead of dismissing it and calling it hard.

Now, I really dislike when people make fun of others’ names (and will say so) and give them nicknames or give them more “western” and “easier” names just because they are unwilling to learn that person’s name. I am sure they would not like it if the shoe was on the other foot.

Starting my own business

Hello Tomodachi’s

Happy very belated New Year, everyone! How are you all doing? How has the first month of the new year been going for you all? So far it has been alright. Nothing bad per se has happened as yet besides getting sick around after New Years. So far, life has been going alright for me, thankfully. I hope it continues this way.

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Unapologetically Black

Hey, Hey, Hey Tomodachi’s!

It feels like it has almost been forever since the last time I wrote anything on my blog. I hope you can forgive me for pulling another one of my disappearing acts on you all. I have missed blogging after not blogging for the past three months.

If you follow my Instagram and other social media pages I recently posted on my Instagram page explaining the reasons for my disappear and how I would be back, out and about on my social media pages and blog. And here I am! With a new poem! Continue reading