Good hair, bad hair?

Hello Tomodachi’s

How have you all been! Happy belated Valentines Day. Hope you all enjoyed it spending it with loved ones and family or alone.

Yesterday while browsing through Facebook I came across an open letter to black women with 4b and 4c hair. The poster was just basically saying to screw whatever society says about our hair and to embrace it to which I completely agree.

You have no idea how tired I get of hearing so many people on my small but beautiful island of Saba, talk about “good hair”. What is “good hair”? What is ” bad hair”? I always tell people “Anyone can have good hair if you take proper care of it and love it” whenever I hear that nonsense being iterated.

What a lot of people mean when they say “good hair” is that it is closer in texture to white hair. And it makes me even more upset and annoyed when some people say this nonsense in front of children which later gets passed down. And then the cycle continues. That is the colonial brainwashing and mindset that is talking and it continues to be passed down even though we are no longer slaves. And not to mention, what if children who hear this nonsense and children who have this type of hair start to hate the way they look and the way their hair natural grows out of their head and try to be something the are not? Is that not a sad prospect?

This topic reminds me of a video I saw on Facebook on Steve Harvey’s page of a black woman who never showed her husband her natural hair. In all the years she had been married to her husband she never allowed her hair to breathe or take a break. And the only people who ever got to see her hair were herself and her hairdresser. Not even her own kids do not know how their mother’s hair looks like. Is that not sad? Why was she so ashamed of her own hair? Not to mention, it got so bad that her hair became very damaged and so she wanted to ask if she should stop doing what she was doing that was causing damage to her hair. Which meant she would eventually might need to go natural. Something her husband has never seen before and something which she refuses to do even if he did. In the video her husband excitedly said that he wanted to see her with her natural hair and even with her hair as damaged as it was she was so very reluctant to show it. That was why she decided to speak to Steve Harvey about this. I was amazed by her way of thinking and so saddened that she disliked her natural hair so much she felt like she HAD TO hide it.

For the life of me I can never understand why black hair is usually synonymous to “bad hair”. You never hear anyone call white hair or hair similar in texture to white hair be called “bad hair” or “unkempt” in the same way people like to talk nonsense about black hair especially the further down the hair grade/ texture you go.

There comes a time when we need to “decolonise our minds from mental slavery” just as Bob Marley said in one of his songs. Though we may be somewhat physically free from slavery our mind still is held captive and some of us still perpetuate this way of thinking and then pass it on to our children. It is just really infuriating and sad.

I love my black kinky 4b and 4c hair and I will not let anyone tell me differently. You have no idea in the length of time I wore my hair natural how many times I’ve been told “oh you would look really nice with straight hair” or “when do you plan to straighten your hair?” Or they talk about why don’t I straighten my hair for special occasions? Is my hair not good enough to wear for special occasion? Why do I need to straighten it, braid it, put weave in it to make it seem “presentable” and decent. Well, news for you I never plan to. I straightened my hair when I was younger but never plan to do so ever again. In fact, the older I get the more I start to embrace my naturalness and blackness. I am not ashamed of my blackness nor am I afraid to show my natural hair.

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