Hello Tomodachi 👋
How are you all doing this fine Wednesday afternoon? Summer is practically over and everyone is getting on with their lives and doing their own thing while I am still trying to figure out what to do with myself and my life. I sometimes wish life came with a “How to” guidebook on how to manoeuvre through a life that is always unexpected, miserable but at the same time also beautiful.
Anyways, two days ago made it about eight months since I returned to my island. I could not help but be amused that it did not matter whether I am living in the Netherlands or on Saba there is always going to be people who are going to be interested and ask about my love life. But why are some people so interested?
They are always going to inquire if I have a boyfriend yet or not. If I had one in the Netherlands or not. Or if I plan to get one any time soon or not. My answer to the inquiries of whether I am looking is always: “No, I am not looking to get with anyone at this moment”. When in actuality I do not plan to date anyone for quite some time. I am just not interested in dating a single soul at all at this moment in time in my life.
The older I become I just do not care because first of all, I have very little patience and tolerance for people. And I also get easily bored with people as well. There have only been few men and love interests who have held my interest for longer than a week or two. When I say a few, I can literally count on one hand how many people have held my interest after speaking to them for a bit. So, if you managed to keep my interest and made me want to know more about you than you are the lucky few. I also do not feel the need to waste my time especially when I am not in the mood to even consider dating anyone at this time. I remember there was this one time that I was on a train returning home from work and I saw this really good-looking guy with beautiful Locs. I went up to speak to him but before the hour was up I had completely lost interest and just wanted to leave and get home quickly as soon as possible.
Of course, one day I would like to have a partner who I can love and spend time with but I just do not feel the need to do that now because I am not interested and just want to focus on myself for a while.
Second of all, I hate rejections and heartbreaks because those are one of the most horrible feelings I ever experienced thus far. So, I am also trying to stay away from experiencing those things again any time soon. Call me a coward all you want but I care a lot about my emotional and mental well being and will fully focus on my healing process before I ever decide to jump into any other relationships especially when I am fully healed. I am just not that emotionally strong.
I brought up this topic because I have lost count on how many times I was asked whether I was seeing anyone or not. I am just wondering why people are so interested whether I have a boyfriend or not? Is it that important to have one right now just because others expect it and because I am already in my late 20s? Is there a time limit to when I should get myself a boyfriend? Or are they just trying to make some light conversation?
Whenever someone asks me whether I have a boyfriend or not it always feels like they are silently judging me on how os it possible for me not have a boyfriend already? Or how can a woman in her late 20s not interested in dating? I am 29 years old and I actually enjoy being single. Though there may be a few people who may think there is something wrong with me for not wanting or being interested in having a relationship with anyone besides that of friendship, I do not really care. There is nothing wrong with being single. It is nothing to be ashamed of. I said this before in an old blog post, but I really think you learn a lot about yourself when you are single. But from a lot of people’s reactions [and perspectives], it probably seems weird to them that someone could truly enjoy being single. However, I believe you do not need to be in a relationship for you to feel happy and enjoy life. Life is, after all, what you make of it.
I have had these thoughts in my mind for quite some time now and just wanted to write about it and hear people’s opinion. So what are your thoughts on the matter?