It is okay not to be ready. It is important to take your time until you are.

Hello Tomodachi’s,

How are you all in the middle of the first week of 2017? Has anything important or special happen to you in these past few days? As for me, I am still as sick as I was on the first of January but doing just a little bit better.

Anyway, on this not so special Wednesday evening, I want to tell you all that it is okay to not be ready and to take your time to make certain decisions. I came across this very interesting Huffington Post article and completely agree with what the writer says about not being ready to be in love or fall in love at only the age of 22. She mentions many things in her article, but what I  especially caught my attention was when she mentions how she wanted to be her own whole world instead of wanting someone else to be her whole world. It takes a different kind of confidence to say something like that. A confidence that a lot of people lack, do not have or are simply not interested in having. I wholeheartedly agree with her article which is how I came up with a topic to write about for this today’s blog post.

I have noticed for quite some time that everyone seems to be running in a rat race to be first for everything thing, especially when it comes to life changing events. Then they will go on to belittle others for not keeping up with them and others like them. I could never understand why. It IS okay not to be ready and to take your time to do things your way. Do not let anyone force or convince you to do anything you are not yet ready for. Make your own decisions. Because at the end of the day, you will be the one who will have to live with that decision or indecision. It is okay to hold off on your decision(s) until you are ready and have fully thought it over. We are not living for anyone else but ourselves and we should not do something because everyone else is doing it or because it is expected of us.

For example, when I was still living on Saba after graduating from high school I had one of my friends (along with the principal of my high school) call me in, corner me and then try to convince me to go to college in the Netherlands. I know that they both meant well but what upset me most was that they thought so little of me and my resolve to one day go to school. I was just not ready at that time. As a means of trying to convince me, I was told by my friend if I did not make up mind soon that I would end up becoming pregnant and a single mother like many of the other young girls on the island. I was baffled! For all of the years, my friend supposedly knew me she thought I would end up getting pregnant? Saying I was a little disappointed in my friend and her statement would be an understatement. I cannot remember exactly what I said after that but I said something that apparently offended them both and left.

It took me a total of three years after graduating from high school to finally leave Saba and spread my wings. Do I regret my choice of staying on the island for those three years instead of leaving when I was not ready? Heck no! I regret nothing. I am happy that I followed my gut feelings until now. I have always done so and will continue to do so in the future. God only knows what would have become of me if I were to leave when I was not ready, considering I was a very protected child back then.

Approximately 9 years after that conversation with my friend and surprise, surprise!… I am still not pregnant! Because back then and even now, I had no intention of having any children until I was ready (in all aspects of my life) and capable of raising one alongside a just as ready and capable partner. I have always been the type of person who followed my own path and did things my own way instead of following the crowd and what others expected of me and I would not have it any other way. I am satisfied with my life so far. Also, I would prefer regretting my own decisions instead of regretting a decision made because of someone else.

I do not always divulge my personal life and experiences on my blog, but I would like to hear your thoughts on the matter?


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