Hello everyone. Is everyone doing well this fine day? I, unfortunately, am not having the best of days like I usually do. I am a bit in a foul mood today but I will not let it get in the way of me getting through the rest of the day. Anyway, today is my Opinion Wednesdays and I would like to briefly discuss a few things, I believe, that some girls and women have experienced while growing up just because of the simple fact that they were born female.
There were many things people would tell us females we should do, say or act in order be seen as more feminine. And not acting in this certain way meant you disappointed some people and their beliefs. But who really cares? Now, I will list 9 things some girls and women alike experience during some points in their lives that men usually don’t.
1.Being told you do not act like a ‘proper girl’ and ‘young lady’
Now let me tell you, that growing up I was quite your typical tomboy and imagine having parents who were quite strict with regards to this general belief that girls should all act ladylike. I have been told time and time again, that I couldn’t do this or that because I was a girl. You have no idea how many times I have heard that I do not ‘act’ like a proper girl or young lady. Whatever the heck that means. As a child I just wanted to have fun and be able to do the same fun things my brother did. I wanted to play and run in the rain, explore in the bushes, go fishing and just play with whatever the heck I wanted to. I did not have the slightest notion of what ‘acting like a girl’ really meant. Just because I was not your typical girlie girl and wanted to have fun and do things did it really mean that I was not proper? And you can imagine how many times my parents and I have gotten into arguments over this very thing.
Why do most parents feel the need to allow their boy child to have fun and explore any and everything they fancied, while the girls are locked away at home and expected to learn how to cook and clean and what have you? Sure, girls can learn all of that plus have fun, can’t they? And while they are at it the boys can learn to cook and clean and do other chores around the house as well. My parents had the belief that a woman’s/ girl’s place was in the home which I do not personally believe in at all and have always tested them with because I was and did the complete opposite of what they expected of me. They were probably frustrated and despised me for this because from a very young age I knew who I was, what I wanted and I did not believe any of that nonsense that was constantly preached to me.
Now, being the tomboy that I definitely was, and was very proud of it, I would go wandering off into the bushes seeking adventure and play in my boots and baggy shirts and pants. The last thing on my mind would be playing with female toys or wearing a skirt. What the heck is up with that perception? Of course, I had Barbie dolls and babies but half of the time I did not want to play with them. Do not give me wrong, I did play with them occasionally but sometimes I wanted to play with other things other than dolls! So, I would go and play with my brother’s cars, blocks and other toys that were ‘made for boys’. Why are there gender specific toys? I think children should play and explore with whatever toys they want. If a girl wants to play with dinosaurs and car toys now and then, then let her! If a boy wants to play with a Barbie doll or play drinking tea with pink tea cups, then let him! Because at the end of the day they will find a way to play with it behind your back. Either you like it or not. I did! I think it is ridiculous.
One thing that irked me sometimes was being told to sit in a certain way because that is not how girls and ladies sit. Seriously? Then, how are girls and ladies supposed to sit? This used to annoy me so much because many times I would have to change from the comfortable position I was sitting in order to sit in an uncomfortable position that was considered proper and ladylike. Are boys told they should not sit in a certain position because it is not considered proper and masculine enough? So why are girls constantly told this nonsense?
4. Being told to eat like a lady
Like almost every person out there when I was hungry I just ate! The last thing on my mind would be eating ladylike. I would understand the general table manners of eating properly like not talking with your mouth filled with food, but eating ladylike? Now, come on!
There has been so many times where I have been told to dress more like a girl because I hardly ever wore any dresses or skirts while growing up. The only time you would catch me in a flowery dress would be when going to church because those were the only things I had in my closet for church. If I had the option of choosing my own clothes as a child I would have gone to church in a pants. However, other than that I had never dressed in any female clothing and only really started wearing makeup until I hit my mid teens and I tried becoming more feminine. Well, that is to be expected of teenagers, right? But that did not really work out for me, though. 😛 In the end I continued dressing however I wanted to, which was 95% of the time baggy jeans and baggy shirts.
6. Being told that short hair on girls is not attractive
I have had short hair for the most part of my life and have been told this same thing many times before. Although it does not bother me anymore, it used to bother me a little for quite some time. Now tell me again why is long hair considered more attractive than short hair? Some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen has short hair. (See picture below)
7. Being told when will you be getting children
Although, I have not really been asked this particular question by anyone as yet (though they might in the future) I think it is nobody’s business when you plan to get children. Not even your own parents. When you are READY you will decide for yourself if you want children or not. No one can decide that for you because those same people who ask will not be the ones carrying the child to term or taking time out of their day to take care of your children for you. Now will they?
If a woman decides that she does not want any children then the whole world goes up in arms asking why she doesn’t want to have children; that she will regret it later on; that she is being selfish because her parents brought her into the world so why can’t she do the same by bringing a child into the world too etc. There are so many thoughtless people out there. Even if a woman is working on her career first to improve her own future they want her to put everything down to make a child or children. Now, if I did not already know from a very young age that I wanted to one day be a mother, I too would opt for childless life.
Not everyone is made to have a child. That is why there are some women that end up killing, abusing and mistreating their child or children because they made children which they did not want in the first place. All because of social pressures placed on women to have children. In the past I have worked in a Day Care for a while and let me tell you it was not easy at all. Children are little rascals and can be just as mischievous as they are adorable. Also for one the human race is not going to come to an end because a few women decided they do not want any children. The world is already over populated with people and children in it, so no need to worry. And the bodies that we women are born with belongs to us and no one else. So it is no one else’s decision but our own to reproduce or not.
This is the most ridiculous thing anyone could ever utter. Every human being is different, both men and women alike. Sure, there are some women who are not suited for business but there are also some men that are not suited for business. So where is the argument in that? There are some really great business women who are even better at what they do than their male counterpart. Just as there are emotional women there are also emotional men, although society has somewhat conditioned some men not to show theirs.
There are some women who are just as ambitious and ruthless, if not more so, in the business world than their male counterparts. But when they are ambitious and ruthless in their work they are termed not feminine and not delicate enough. Or they are ridiculed and told to go back to the kitchen to where they belong. How immature and cowardly is that? Do you feel so threatened by a woman that you need to say such things? Now, I am not trying to bash any men, I am just bashing the society that has made these types of men and continue to make them.
Are there any other females who have gone through these same or similar experiences in the past? I know I am not the only one!