The woes of some girls and women

obstaclesHello everyone. Is everyone doing well this fine day? I, unfortunately, am not having the best of days like I usually do. I am a bit in a foul mood today but I will not let it get in the way of me getting through the rest of the day. Anyway, today is my Opinion Wednesdays and I would like to briefly discuss a few things, I believe, that some girls and women have experienced while growing up just because of the simple fact that they were born female.

There were many things people would tell us females we should do, say or act in order be seen as more feminine. And not acting in this certain way meant you disappointed some people and their beliefs. But who really cares? Now, I will list 9 things some girls and women alike experience during some points in their lives that men usually don’t.

1.Being told you do not act like a ‘proper girl’ and ‘young lady’

Now let me tell you, that growing up I was quite your typical tomboy and imagine having parents who were quite strict with regards to this general belief that girls should all act ladylike. I have been told time and time again, that I couldn’t do this or that because I was a girl. You have no idea how many times I have heard that I do not ‘act’ like a proper girl or young lady. Whatever the heck that means. As a child I just wanted to have fun and be able to do the same fun things my brother did. I wanted to play and run in the rain, explore in the bushes, go fishing and just play with whatever the heck I wanted to. I did not have the slightest notion of what ‘acting like a girl’ really meant. Just because I was not your typical girlie girl and wanted to have fun and do things did it really mean that I was not proper? And you can imagine how many times my parents and I have gotten into arguments over this very thing.

WomenWhy do most parents feel the need to allow their boy child to have fun and explore any and everything they fancied, while the girls are locked away at home and expected to learn how to cook and clean and what have you? Sure, girls can learn all of that plus have fun, can’t they? And while they are at it the boys can learn to cook and clean and do other chores around the house as well. My parents had the belief that a woman’s/ girl’s place was in the home which I do not personally believe in at all and have always tested them with because I was and did the complete opposite of what they expected of me. They were probably frustrated and despised me for this because from a very young age I knew who I was, what I wanted and I did not believe any of that nonsense that was constantly preached to me.

shutterstock_150378875_zpskydneaum2. Being told that you were supposed to play with things that were made for girls

Now, being the tomboy that I definitely was, and was very proud of it, I would go wandering off into the bushes seeking adventure and play in my boots and baggy shirts and pants. The last thing on my mind would be playing with female toys or wearing a skirt. What the heck is up with that perception? Of course, I had Barbie dolls and babies but half of the time I did not want to play with them. Do not give me wrong, I did play with them occasionally but sometimes I wanted to play with other things other than dolls! So, I would go and play with my brother’s cars, blocks and other toys that were ‘made for boys’. Why are there gender specific toys? I think children should play and explore with whatever toys they want. If a girl wants to play with dinosaurs and car toys now and then, then let her! If a boy wants to play with a Barbie doll or play drinking tea with pink tea cups, then let him! Because at the end of the day they will find a way to play with it behind your back. Either you like it or not. I did! I think it is ridiculous.

woman-crossing-legs3. Being told that “This is not the proper way girls/ women sit”

One thing that irked me sometimes was being told to sit in a certain way because that is not how girls and ladies sit. Seriously? Then, how are girls and ladies supposed to sit? This used to annoy me so much because many times I would have to change from the comfortable position I was sitting in order to sit in an uncomfortable position that was considered proper and ladylike. Are boys told they should not sit in a certain position because it is not considered proper and masculine enough? So why are girls constantly told this nonsense?

4. Being told to eat like a lady

Like almost every person out there when I was hungry I just ate! The last thing on my mind would be eating ladylike. I would understand the general table manners of eating properly like not talking with your mouth filled with food, but eating ladylike? Now, come on!

Cute girl 5. Being told to dress like a girl/ woman

There has been so many times where I have been told to dress more like a girl because I hardly ever wore any dresses or skirts while growing up. The only time you would catch me in a flowery dress would be when going to church because those were the only things I had in my closet for church. If I had the option of choosing my own clothes as a child I would have gone to church in a pants. However, other than that I had never dressed in any female clothing and only really started wearing makeup until I hit my mid teens and I tried becoming more feminine. Well, that is to be expected of teenagers, right? But that did not really work out for me, though. 😛 In the end I continued dressing however I wanted to, which was 95% of the time baggy jeans and baggy shirts.

6. Being told that short hair on girls is not attractive

I have had short hair for the most part of my life and have been told this same thing many times before. Although it does not bother me anymore, it used to bother me a little for quite some time. Now tell me again why is long hair considered more attractive than short hair? Some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen has short hair. (See picture below)

7. Being told when will you be getting children

Although, I have not really been asked this particular question by anyone as yet (though they might in the future) I think it is nobody’s business when you plan to get children. Not even your own parents. When you are READY you will decide for yourself if you want children or not. No one can decide that for you because those same people who ask will not be the ones carrying the child to term or taking time out of their day to take care of your children for you. Now will they?

Dressing liek a lady8. Being told if you do not want children that you are being selfish etc.

If a woman decides that she does not want any children then the whole world goes up in arms asking why she doesn’t want to have children; that she will regret it later on; that she is being selfish because her parents brought her into the world so why can’t she do the same by bringing a child into the world too etc. There are so many thoughtless people out there. Even if a woman is working on her career first to improve her own future they want her to put everything down to make a child or children. Now, if I did not already know from a very young age that I wanted to one day be a mother, I too would opt for childless life.

Not everyone is made to have a child. That is why there are some women that end up killing, abusing and mistreating their child or children because they made children which they did not want in the first place. All because of social pressures placed on women to have children. In the past I have worked in a Day Care for a while and let me tell you it was not easy at all. Children are little rascals and can be just as mischievous as they are adorable. Also for one the human race is not going to come to an end because a few women decided they do not want any children. The world is already over populated with people and children in it, so no need to worry. And the bodies that we women are born with belongs to us and no one else. So it is no one else’s decision but our own to reproduce or not.

woman-suit9. Being told that the business world is a man’s world and women are too emotional

This is the most ridiculous thing anyone could ever utter. Every human being is different, both men and women alike. Sure, there are some women who are not suited for business but there are also some men that are not suited for business. So where is the argument in that? There are some really great business women who are even better at what they do than their male counterpart. Just as there are emotional women there are also emotional men, although society has somewhat conditioned some men not to show theirs.

There are some women who are just as ambitious and ruthless, if not more so, in the business world than their male counterparts. But when they are ambitious and ruthless in their work they are termed not feminine and not delicate enough. Or they are ridiculed and told to go back to the kitchen to where they belong. How immature and cowardly is that? Do you feel so threatened by a woman that you need to say such things? Now, I am not trying to bash any men, I am just bashing the society that has made these types of men and continue to make them.

Are there any other females who have gone through these same or similar experiences in the past? I know I am not the only one!

5 thoughts on “The woes of some girls and women

  1. You have an interesting post here however, I dont agree with a part of number 8. When you said

    “Not everyone is made to have a child. That is why there are some women that end up killing, abusing and mistreating their child or children because they made children which they did not want in the first place. All because of social pressures on women to have children.”

    I get what you’re saying. I also think that some women had no business in engaging in sex, unprotected or whatever happened, if you are not ready, willing or able to provide for or care for children. that should also be taken into account. This is just a sidenote, which i think is important to mention.

    I do believe that society has a strong hold on how women should be molded and folded in today’s world that has been transended from the past to know. And some people, older pepole, maybe our parents have been victims of those norms of the past and wish to instill those same norms and values in their children. The reality is that times have changed and we live in a world where women are taking over, becoming more vocal, present and in charge and the others, the older heads, that is world that they may not , cannot or do not want to understand.
    I cannot say that I can relate to you on many of your points personally but I certaintly understand your premise.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Sol. Thank you very much for your reply. I do agree with you wholehearted on the point you made. This is a new generation where things are changing and women can make their own decisions by using the many contraceptives there are, in order to protect themselves from getting children they do not want. That is very true indeed. But the point I was trying to make with my 8th point is women who do not want children and use almost every contraceptive method to avoid pregnancy and are being ridiculed and accused for wanting a childless life. Do you remember the last post I made about the man who married a woman he did not love and had a child with her? Do you remember me saying that he was a weak man and easily bend to the pressures of his parents and society to marry a white and not the woman of his choosing? Well, if you apply that same theory to a weak willed woman who just wants to please her parents and society and does something she does not want like get pregnant, you end up with women being hateful towards their children, abusing them or even killing them.

      And another point, sometimes when we grow older we say we wouldn’t do this and that when we have kids but I have reading accounts from some people who have said the same thing before they had kids but found themselves saying and doing the same exact things their parents did and said to them after getting kids. Only when you take a step would you realize how so much like your parents you have become without realizing it. Unconsciously without meaning to we could pass on those same things to our children. Sure we have changed compared to back in the day but we still got some ways to go.


      • Hi. I get what you are saying, I do. Your last point to my reply, I think is inevitable. We are copies, extension of our parents. How we were raised or what we’ve been exposed to as kids, turn up in how we raise our children or we identify some of our parent’s traits in ourselves. Its just a side note. But or job is to become better versions of our parents. Gooo women!


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